The Alchemist Is a Super Overrated Book For Naive Souls

So, there I was, another book on the shelf, another supposed “life-changing” read.

This time, it’s The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, a book so hyped up that I thought maybe I missed something.

You know, everyone swears by it—so I gave it a shot.

And here’s the thing: It’s overrated. It’s not even close to what it’s cracked up to be.

People rave about this book like it’s the Holy Grail of self-help, philosophy, and fiction wrapped in one neat little package.

I’m here to tell you—it’s not. It’s just another over-glorified bedtime story, and here’s why.

1. The Plot is as Thin as a Paper Airplane

Let’s talk about the plot. It’s like a child’s drawing of a great adventure.

A young shepherd named Santiago dreams of finding treasure, so he packs up his sheep, heads out, and does what any reasonable person would do—follows omens.

The whole story is like a long fortune cookie with vague advice wrapped in mystical nonsense.

There’s some magical realism thrown in there, but when you break it down, it’s a bunch of wandering around the desert, learning life lessons that would make any sensible person cringe.

Santiago is the kind of guy who follows signs from the universe like they’re his personal GPS, and frankly, it’s boring.

If I wanted to read about a guy chasing vague dreams and running into mysterious characters with ridiculous names, I’d just start talking to people in bars.

2. The “Profound Wisdom” Is Just Hallmark Quotes

People talk about the wisdom in The Alchemist like it’s the secret to life. “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it!”

Yeah, okay, pal. If the universe conspired to help me, I’d be writing this from a beach in Tahiti with a drink in hand, not in a grimy little apartment typing away on my laptop.

All Coelho does is string together phrases that sound deep but are about as profound as a fortune cookie.

The book is full of self-help clichés that have been recycled a thousand times over, and the worst part is people eat it up like it’s the latest gospel.

Look, maybe it’s just me, but if I wanted motivational fluff, I’d watch an Oprah special.

3. It’s Just a Poor Man’s Siddhartha… at Best

If you’re really craving spiritual enlightenment, why not just read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse?

Now that’s a book that actually makes you think. The Alchemist is like the cheap, knock-off version—watered down, with less substance, and without the philosophical depth that made Siddhartha a classic.

Coelho’s story is light on meaning, heavy on platitudes, and it makes you feel like you’re gaining insight while in reality, you’re just skimming the surface. Coelho might have read Siddhartha once and thought, “Hey, I can do that, but with more magic.”

4. The Characters Are as Deep as Puddles

Santiago, the protagonist, is a blank slate. He’s got no real personality, no flaws, no character arc. He just keeps running around, getting advice from mysterious old men and alchemists who seem to have all the answers.

There’s no real struggle. It’s all too easy. You read it and think, “Where’s the meat? Where’s the real conflict?” The supporting characters don’t help. They’re all just one-dimensional, purpose-driven archetypes. It’s as if Coelho couldn’t be bothered to create a cast of real people.

Every character serves only one purpose: to give Santiago a nugget of wisdom or help him on his journey. Who cares about the blacksmith, the crystal merchant, or the Englishman with the book? They’re all just stepping stones, not real people.

5. The Setting is a Desert—How Original!

The whole book takes place in the desert, which is fine—deserts are interesting, I guess.

But Coelho milks that dry landscape for all it’s worth. There’s no real richness in the setting. It’s not like he’s using the desert as a metaphor for something deeper. It’s just hot, barren sand.

Every page feels like you’re walking through a desert yourself—tired, bored, and waiting for something to happen. Coelho doesn’t paint a picture; he just tells you, “Oh, the desert was this and that.” It’s flat. It’s dry. It’s uninspired.

6. The Romance is Laughable

And let’s not forget the romance. Oh, the romance! Santiago meets a woman in the desert. A beautiful, exotic woman, of course.

And just like that, he’s in love. The love story here is as believable as a bad soap opera. There’s no real chemistry. It’s all surface-level, driven by destiny or fate or whatever magical force Coelho wants to use to move the plot forward.

Santiago’s infatuation with the girl is so rushed it feels like they’re both acting out of some cosmic obligation, not genuine feeling. If anything, the romance distracts from the so-called wisdom the book is trying to impart.

7. The Hype Doesn’t Match the Reality

Let’s face it—the book is popular for the same reason the Kardashians are popular: it’s easy.

You don’t need to think too hard to digest it. It’s got that fluffy, feel-good vibe that makes you feel like you’re a part of some deep, enlightened club, even though you’re just reading the most generic piece of self-help fiction on the market.

People love this book because it makes them feel good without actually having to do the work to understand what real growth is. There’s no deep intellectual stimulation here—just a lot of cheap inspiration wrapped in mystical nonsense.

And, of course, because it’s easy to digest, it’s become the go-to book for everyone who wants to look “wise” without actually being wise.

Point	Why It Sucks
The Plot	Vague and meandering with no real depth.
The “Wisdom”	Hallmark-level clichés that sound deep, but aren’t.
Siddhartha Comparison	It’s a cheap knock-off.
The Characters	Flat, one-dimensional, and forgettable.
The Setting	Boring desert with no real metaphorical weight.
The Romance	Forced and unbelievable.
The Hype	Overblown and undeserved.

Conclusion

Look, I’m not saying you should throw this book in the trash, but don’t expect it to revolutionize your life.

Don’t expect to finish it and suddenly realize the meaning of existence. If you really want to dig into life’s mysteries, there’s better stuff out there—books that make you sweat a little.

This one? It’s just an easy read that makes you feel good about yourself, for a minute, and then you’re left staring at your bookshelf thinking, “That’s it?”

So, here’s the kicker: I could’ve written this book in a week, and you would’ve still eaten it up. You want wisdom? Get your hands dirty.

Stop looking for shortcuts. The Alchemist is just another placebo, and the more people talk about it, the more you realize the real magic is how much money Coelho made off it.