We’re idiots.
Modern humans, with our shiny smartphones and memes, have become too dumb to even understand old-school philosophy.
It’s like trying to read a Shakespearean play while simultaneously trying to understand how the hell TikTok works. It’s a bad combination.
The old philosophers?
They had big brains.
But us?
We’re stuck in a world where the deepest thoughts happen when the Wi-Fi cuts out for 10 seconds.
So let me lay it out for you, piece by piece.
We’re so busy with crap that we can’t even get our minds to focus long enough to understand something as simple as Plato’s “Republic” without checking Instagram 80 times.
It’s sad. But let’s go there anyway.
1. Philosophers Were Too Deep for Us
Back in the day, philosophers like Socrates and Aristotle weren’t just thinking about their next snack or what video to watch.
They were thinking about life—the big stuff.
They asked questions that made you sit there and sweat, like: “What is the meaning of life?” or “Do we have free will, or are we just puppets?”
Meanwhile, we’re over here Googling if cats can fly.
Our brains have been poisoned by all this surface-level thinking.
The old-school guys were deep. We?
We’re like kiddie pool deep.
2. They Had Patience, We Have ADHD
Ever tried to read Descartes’ Meditations on First Philosophy?
That guy takes forever just to explain how we know we exist. “I think, therefore I am.”
That’s a whole book, people.
But us? We can’t sit still for five minutes. If something takes longer than a 10-second video to explain, we zone out.
We’re like a bunch of squirrels on a sugar high. It’s no wonder we can’t get through deep philosophy.
3. Technology Has Shortened Our Attention Span
We’ve got Google to tell us everything. We don’t need to think. It’s all right there at our fingertips.
That’s the problem. When Plato wrote The Republic, you had to go dig around for answers.
You had to sit with the questions. Now? Just Google it.
The best we can manage is a quick scroll, looking for the simplest answer.
The idea of thinking deeply about something? Gone. Replaced by a meme.
4. We Don’t Have Time for the Big Questions
Back then, philosophers didn’t have to worry about getting likes or managing a work-life balance.
They could sit for hours, days, months, and think about the universe.
Now, we’re trying to juggle our 9-to-5s, Zoom calls, and the existential horror of never-ending email chains.
Trying to sit down and think about whether the universe is finite or infinite?
Forget about it. Our brains are too busy calculating the quickest route to the next cheap meal.
5. The Pressure to Be Right
You think Socrates was over here worried about being canceled on Twitter?
Hell no. That guy was so busy having conversations that he didn’t need to worry about anyone’s opinion.
Modern philosophers have to deal with the constant fear of being wrong.
And, let’s be real, who has time for right anymore?
With so many opinions and counter-opinions, just trying to get the correct answer feels like fighting in a bar brawl with one hand tied behind your back.
No one gets anywhere in deep philosophy with a crowd screaming at you to hurry up.
6. Old-School Philosophers Didn’t Care About Popularity
Did you know some philosophers just wandered the streets talking to people about life?
They didn’t care if they had a million followers or if they were trending on the social media of the time.
They were about truth, not likes. Now, a philosopher who doesn’t have a podcast or a blog is basically invisible.
Everyone wants to be famous for their thoughts but no one really wants to think that hard anymore.
No one’s interested in staring into the abyss of existence for hours; they just want that quick hit of dopamine from a meme.
7. We’re More Into “Fake News” Than Real Knowledge
Ever wondered what a philosopher like Nietzsche would think of the state of the world today?
Well, he’d probably drink heavily, scream at the internet, and then mutter something.
We’ve got all these “influencers” handing out wisdom like it’s candy, but none of them actually think.
The old philosophers didn’t spew nonsense for clicks.
They dug deep into the abyss of human experience and tried to pull something meaningful out.
Today, we can’t even agree on whether the earth is flat or round without the world losing its collective mind.
Table Summary
| Philosophical Shift | Then (Old-School) | Now (Modern-Day) |
|---|---|---|
| Depth of Thought | Life, existence, morality | Memes, TikToks, “What’s for dinner?” |
| Patience | Days of deep contemplation | 10-second attention spans |
| Knowledge Access | Libraries, books, hard work | Google, search engines, laziness |
| Focus on Big Questions | “What is truth?” | “Is this avocado toast organic?” |
| Technology’s Impact | None (They had scrolls, okay?) | Social media, distractions |
| What’s Considered Smart | Deep thought and analysis | Sharing articles with no reading |
| Fame | None needed, just philosophy | Instagram, likes, fake followers |
Final Words
You know what? Maybe it’s not us being “stupid.” Maybe it’s that we’ve outgrown the capacity for real thought.
The modern mind is a microwaved burrito—quick, easy, and full of nothing real.
We’ve stopped caring about digging into life’s core and instead let everything sit at the surface, where it’s nice and shiny and easy to scroll past.
Maybe that’s why we can’t get old-school philosophy. Maybe we just don’t want to try anymore.
So, we live in an age where a tweet gets more thought than a Nietzsche quote.
And maybe that’s the joke.
Maybe the greatest philosopher of our time is the one who looks around and says, “What the hell happened here?”
And just leaves us in the dust, trying to figure out how to live with our shallow minds.
And the punchline? No one gets it.
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