
You’re scared, right? You know it. We all are.
The kind of fear that gnaws at you, the kind that eats at your gut when you think no one’s looking.
But here’s the thing: Rollo May doesn’t pity you.
He doesn’t care that you’re scared. He’s too busy showing you that the fear is yours to own.
We talk about freedom like it’s a gift, but we’re all terrified of it, aren’t we?
Yeah, that’s what May’s got for you. No sugarcoating. No cheap feel-good nonsense. Just the cold, hard truth about what it means to be human.
May wasn’t trying to sell you happiness or fulfillment. He was after something a lot more brutal: truth.
Psychology and the Human Dilemma isn’t a bedtime story. It’s a jagged pill. Written in 1967, the book digs deep into what makes us tick—and why we’re so damn terrified of what we are.
May’s existential view of the human condition wasn’t some lofty academic exercise. He wasn’t trying to comfort you. He wanted to take you down to the muck and show you why you’re sinking there in the first place.
Psychology and the Human Dilemma isn’t a narrative, it’s a warning. It’s May’s attempt to dissect what holds us back, what drives us mad, and what keeps us from stepping into the cold, indifferent world with some semblance of control.
The Core Principles of the Human Dilemma
So, here it is. Six ugly truths about being human.
Six principles that tell you everything about why you’re stuck.
And no, none of it’s comfortable. You’ve been warned.
1. The Fear of Freedom
Freedom sounds great on paper, right? You think you want it—who doesn’t?
But guess what? It’s a nightmare.
That’s what May says. The kind of freedom that comes with having to choose for yourself, live with your own decisions, face the consequences—yeah, that’s terrifying.
We all want to be free, sure. But what happens when freedom means you’ve got no one to blame for your mistakes?
Freedom’s a burden, not a gift. It’s like being handed the keys to a car, but nobody tells you how to drive.
You crash. You fail. You get scared. And then, you start wishing for the cage again. It’s easier that way.
2. The Anxiety of Existence
You’re alive, but are you really living?
May’s not asking you if you’re happy. He’s asking if you even know what the hell you’re doing here.
That anxiety? It’s the sound of you wrestling with your own existence.
You’re scared because you don’t know why you’re here, or if it even matters.
You’re scared because you have to face the fact that one day, it’s all going to end, and you’ll be forgotten.
Your existence is a cosmic joke. And that’s why you’re anxious as hell, trying to fill the void with whatever’s easy: distractions, comfort, denial.
But the truth’s lurking there. It’s always there. The fear? Yeah, it’s not going away. You’ll either run from it, or you’ll face it. You get to decide.
3. Love is a Struggle
You think love’s some nice, fluffy feeling that makes everything feel right? Wrong.
May’s got a different take. Love’s work. It’s not about falling into it. It’s about the mess, the struggle, the vulnerability you try so hard to avoid.
Love’s not a dream, it’s a nightmare that asks you to give up something real—yourself.
You’ve got to tear down your walls, and that’s harder than any romance novel ever told you.
The truth? Love demands you show up, raw, ugly, and unguarded. You can’t love without risking the hell out of yourself. So stop pretending it’s supposed to be easy. It’s a battlefield, and you’re in it.
4. The Fear of Isolation
Here’s the thing: you’re alone. Not just physically. Existentially. You came into this world alone, and no matter how much you try to cling to people, you’ll always be isolated.
There’s a hole inside you that no one can fill. You’re always a step removed, a little bit apart from everyone else.
That fear of isolation? It’s real. It’s the gnawing ache in the pit of your stomach when you’re surrounded by people but feel like you’re still on your own island.
You can’t escape it. You can only face it or drown in it.
Relationships? They’re an attempt to bridge that gap, but they can never quite get there. You’re still you, just with a lot of distractions.
5. The Will to Power
You know that hunger to take control, to shape your world? May calls it the “will to power.”
But it’s not about money or fame or being the boss. It’s about asserting yourself in a world that constantly tries to crush you.
The more you try to control things, the more you realize you’re just a puppet.
You can pull the strings, but there’s always someone, or something, pulling back.
You’re fighting for a piece of the world, but the world doesn’t care if you get it.
The more you struggle for power, the more exhausted you get, because deep down, you know: it’s all slipping through your fingers.
6. The Dread of Meaninglessness
This is where May drops the bomb. Nothing matters. You’re floating in an endless void, and the meaning you’re desperately searching for?
You’re going to have to create it yourself—or live with the fact that it doesn’t exist.
That dread? It’s your brain trying to make sense of an indifferent universe. It’s the feeling that nothing you do matters, that you’re just spinning your wheels in the dirt.
You can pretend it’s not there, stuff your face with distractions, or slap a smile on and act like you’ve got it all figured out.
But May’s right: the dread is always there, just under the surface. You can either face it, or let it eat you alive.
Core Principles Table
Principle | Key Concept | Impact on Life |
---|---|---|
Fear of Freedom | The overwhelming responsibility of free will | Paralysis, avoidance, and self-imposed limits |
Anxiety of Existence | The existential angst about purpose and mortality | Constant unease and existential dread |
Love as a Struggle | Real love requires vulnerability and effort | Conflict and discomfort in relationships |
Fear of Isolation | The fear of being alone, emotionally and existentially | Clinginess, loneliness, disconnection |
Will to Power | The drive to assert control over oneself and the world | Power struggles, frustration, burnout |
Dread of Meaninglessness | The terror of a meaningless existence | Despair, nihilism, or self-created purpose |
Conclusion: The Hell of It All
You’ve got freedom, but you’re scared of it. You’ve got love, but it’s a bloody battlefield. You’ve got existence, but it’s a cruel joke.
And every step you take, every decision you make, comes with a heavy price: isolation, power struggles, and the constant dread of meaninglessness.
May didn’t give you answers. He gave you the truth: life’s a chaotic war, and you’re right in the middle of it.
And that’s all you get. Now, deal with it.
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